Sunday, August 29, 2010

Happy Valley

 So I've been runnin in Provo for a little while now, and it's been quite a hoot. There are so many runners here and they all wave back to me when I wave to them! Occasionally I'll through a fist pump at the top of a big hill and get a couple smiles. I love the social aspect of running. It's an instant connection and friendship when you're all out there together. We all know it's hard, but we all know it's beneficial.

I had a thought the other day and it turned into an essay. Enjoy:


When I was young I watched the movie Star Wars with my father. I remember sitting on our lumpy couch watching Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, two men who would not ordinarily be friends, come together to struggle against evil. I was captivated by their courage and inspired by their morality and passion. I watched as they struggled against incalculable odds and triumphed against an ominous, planet-sized space station that, at first, seemed so impregnable. I was instilled with a belief that revolution and rebellion was necessary in order for good to gain victory over evil. I wanted to be the hero of my own revolution.

 In my world, however, there are no heartless tyrants. There is no unfair treatment dealt to me by a merciless dictatorial administration. In fact, as I grew older, I saw quite the opposite unfold in the world around me. I was instilled with a love for democracy and an appreciation for the American constitution, and I watched as misguided youths and vigilante terrorists tried to destroy it. I thought to myself, “How am I gonna stick it to the man if I am the man and everyone is trying to stick it to me?”  I wondered how I would ever live my dreams of being the hero; the one who passionately fights against a domineering entity for the greater good. 

I realized that there’s a war raging all around me. The enemy bombards me with blatant full frontal attacks and intricate subterfuge.  There’s a war going on for my mind. My brain is oftentimes under the control of a ruthless regime assailing my thoughts with distortions. I am made to believe that contention is good, that no ideas are as good as my own, that success is selfish, and pleasure is love. I am forced to watch as moral ideals are dismantled and defiled to justify immorality. I am pummeled into submission until I finally lose my identity and become the newest recruit in a world of parrots, saying what I’m told to say, doing what I’m told to do and thinking how I’m told to think. The more I let those influences take control, the more I forfeit my freedom to choose, my freedom to grow, and my freedom to be happy. 

This is why I need a revolution. I believe that the most needed rebellion is personal, between ourselves and the powers that struggle to make us lose ourselves. Like Luke Skywalker and Han Solo, I can lead an army against and empire: an army of my own thoughts and ideals against the world. I can diligently strive towards individuation as I revolt against the corruption brought on by prideful ideals. My revolution is complete as I think for myself, not of myself. 


I've got a 35 mile relay race comin up! My first race since the surgery. Needless to say, I am stoked outta my mind. 

Cool runnings everyone!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Provo.

Today was stinkin hard. I ran in wonderful Provo, Utah. It took a lot out of me but it's a good feeling. When you've given all you have to anything, you come away with a feeling of fulfillment. At least I do. I didn't run my fastest today, or my strongest. I didn't run the farthest I've ever run and I did not feel good at all. But I can honestly say that I put everything I had into that run, thus I accomplished something.

I think, in a lot of situations and endeavors, we are afraid to do our best and give our all because we don't think we'll get the kind of return that we feel we deserve. So we hold back and wait and when the situation seems like it could be fruitful in the way that we want it, we give a little more. Does that make sense? I'm really tired right now so I could be really screwin up this thought.

Basically, if we give all we can to everything in life, without worrying about what we receive in return, we will come away as more fulfilled people: Because we did our best. And no matter how things work out we will become more successful in our future pursuits. That is the pay-off. That is the return. The ability to do your best is truly a talent that needs refining in us all.

I think this is a thought worth further contemplation. I'll let the world know what I come up with.

Fall is quickly approaching. I love cold weather runs! (I'll tell you what kind of runs I do not love...diarrhea. Rough morning.)

Cool runnings everyone!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

So Ute

Today I ran in Moab. I got my speed back from yesterday. It was epic. And can I just say it was wonderful not coming home dripping wet? It was actually a little chilly this mornin.

Moab is a very small town in a valley surrounded by intimidating red cliffs. It was dark when I started but light was just beginning to peak over the mountains. I was running fast and feeling good. At about the second mile I stopped to take in the sight. The sun was now illuminating the cliffs to the west of me, turning them a brilliantly deep red color...then I had a THOUGHT.

Haha I know it's cheesy but I thought to myself "If God can make a huge pile of rocks and sand look this beautiful, imagine what He could do with me." I guess it's the Brother of Jared kinda thing in the Book of Mormon. We offer what we've got, and the Lord makes it better. But first we have to do the offering. We have to take a step towards the Lord, disengaging whatever may be holding us back.

Buddhist's believe that attachments are what hold us back from becoming the best we can be. There is wisdom in that. Of course some attachments are essential, like that of man and wife (although even then they aren't really attached, but joined). Many attachments hold us back though and it's our responsibility to put our lives in order, let go of anything impeding our progress, and offer to the Lord what we have. Then He will make us perfect: The people we are meant to be. It won't be instant. We have to continue to work on it.

On my way home I booked it. I passed one of those radar speed limit signs that gives you your speed. The speed limit was 30. I was going 8. Not quite there yet, but I'm working on it.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Hub City of Eastern Colorado

So i'm in Limon, Colorado. I guess at one point this was the gateway to western colorado. Now there's not much of anything. I've realized I really like running in unfamiliar territory and exploring a city or town that i've never been to.

I've also decided that this blog is just gonna contain a bunch of cliche's and over-the-top metaphors because that is the kind of stuff I think about on my run.

Well lemme tell ya, 5000 feet is a huge change from 500 feet, so I was dying from the first stride. To add a little more fun to the mix, the wind was blowing right into my face and it was all up this gradually steep slope. I wanted to quit and give up. But if I've learned anything in life it is this: walls are put up to keep the quitters out. They're put up to show how much you really want it.

So I pushed on. One painful gasp at a time. I wanted to go for a short, out-and-back run. 15 minutes out, 15 back. I was getting close to the end of my 15 out, and when I run I usually just focus forward on my goal and take little or no time to sight-see or look around, even. Well my gaze strayed to the south and I had to stop because what I saw really hit me. There was a beautiful landscape of rolling hills, a brilliantly blue sky and one of the most wonderful sun rises I had ever seen. An in the middle of these rolling hills was a single windmill, slowly spinning, collecting the wind that was slowing me down and turning it into something useful. I was taught a lot as I stood there and looked out.

Lesson learned:

1) We need to capture the winds that hold us back in life and turn them into something productive.

 Sometimes (like my run today in the middle of nowhere at high elevation, uphill into the wind) we're thrown into situations we're not prepared for. Some can be difficult. We want to quit or turn around, or at least not move forward. I think we can get so caught up in our own situations (our own strong winds?) that we need to take a step back and look around. Use those winds. Control them. And then use them to do some good. We're all blessed with abilities to lead, comfort, support and guide. We need to use those abilities at all times, no matter what our personal predicaments may be. No matter what happens in life, we need to focus on being the best person possible. And that comes as we focus on helping others be the best people possible.

Today it's on to Moab, Utah and I'm sure I'll make some other analogous connection and post it on here as some deep meaningful life lesson ;)

Cool runings, everybody!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I'm Back

I feel like, lately, I've fallen in love with running all over again. My knee pain is gone. My switch to FreeRun's has really facilitated my love, i think. They are so basic. They bring lots of joy to my bosom.

Lately I've been running a lot faster than usual. I've only been knockin down 5 milers lately, but i've been doin them at about an 8:30 pace. I come alive when I run that fast. I motor up every hill in front of me.

Running for me has made life more manageable. Everything is so clear out there. I am in touch with something Higher when I push my body to it's limits. My focus is absolute and, as I run, I know exactly what I need to do and who I am. There are no unhealthy thoughts. There is no self-pity or self-doubt. There is no sadness or pain. There is only me. There is only the road in front of me, and I reckon that's how you navigate through life. Whatever is behind you is just mileage you've accumulated, hard-fought strides that have worked within you to make you stronger. In front of you is the unknown, and can only be taken one step at a time.

Most of the time it seems like the only thing in front of me are more hills (in life and on runs...wink face), but for me, a good hill can always carry me through the rest of my run and help me finish strong.

I'm profound, i know ;). I have always loved to run, and I think it's because I can always count on it to put me in a better place. A stronger place. A confident place.


Just an FYI, I'm running this morning in Wentzville, Missouri. My next run will be in Huntington, Colorado. Pimpin all over the world. I've put about 50 miles on my freeruns and have loved them so much I bought another pair for when I need new runnin shoes. I recommend them to everyone!

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